God always amazes me, in everything single way. This post will be very long & wordy, and I believe what Jermaine used to write in her blog, “You would read on if it bothers”.

The God I know strengthens the weak. Note the word “strengthens”, it is in present tense and it is not “strengthened”. This simply means that, He always does so. I remembered people feedback to me that they are inspired by my blog posts, sermons & thoughts in the past, however somewhere along the line, I fell back & procrastinated. Well, this time, I find that God really speaks to me in a different way.

Here are the testimonies I want to share before I share my thoughts:

Firstly, I thank God for favor of man. I know everything happens for a reason & I always seek God to reveal that purpose He has for me. I left MCG, but they left me with precious memories. I took the courage to ask Jerry to join his group & he agrees. Never in my whole life, until now, that I see a man that can be dependent on. Thank God for him. Although many times, MCG always form project groups within themselves, there’s nothing wrong with working with comfortable & familiar people, but Jerry looked at the whole situations and made wise decisions. If haven’t been for Jerry, I doubt I am able to achieve quality grades for my projects in year 1. I really felt that, although sometimes things don’t click between the guys & me, but they are people that I can relate to in a different way too! Thank God for them.

Secondly, I thank God for opportunities & open doors. I remembered a non-believer friend used to challenge me with this question, “Why do you believe in God? In times like this, will He provide you with money? Will money drop from the sky?”
God answered him through me. I replied with him, that God would not do that, but He will give us power to earn money. God will open doors & provide opportunities.
Karen gave me a call and asked me if I would like to go back & work for her. The pay that she’ll be paying me is $7/hr. I agreed working for her in another company, not NGO in prudential as a telemarketer anymore. I was offered a freelancing for blogs and the money would be extra blessings. I really thank God for opportunities in times like this, when many people would have problems finding job. God is providing for me, yes He is.

Thirdly, I thank God for blessings! I thank God that Ruiling blessed me with a KFC meal two days ago at Plaza Singapura. I thank God that Shujian (Shawny) offered to teach me piano for free, when he is a freelance piano teacher. I thank God that Mikki paid for our drinks today & also initiated to buy us fries. Small blessings make my day. You guys really make a difference in my life.

Mikki spoke to me another day about my life. It set me thinking. She said that I should learn to love myself before I can love others. I told her that's not true because it is true that I don't love myself, but I am still loving others. The next day, Mikki emailed me, and I know God is speaking to me.

In any given Christian community there are two groups: those who are contagious in their joy and those who are cranky in their faith. They've accepted Christ and are seeking him, but their balloon has no helium. One is grateful, the other is grumpy. Both are saved. Both are heaven bound. But one sees the rainbow and the other sees the rain.

Yes I am serving. But in which way would I want it to be? Mikki, you are right. It is time I learn to love myself.

The only terms that I can relate my life right now is the example of Mary & Martha. I always tell Mikki that I can help her handle small things when she’s busy. I always volunteered to help. I want to help. I am willing to. However, as far as I go, I began to realize that my life is like Martha now. I am no longer engaging with the people and I am not engaging God as much as I want to. My life is messed up right now. I am receiving bad news after bad news. I don’t have a single cent right now for the needs when I am outside. I cannot afford a meal. This I really don’t mind. But when I was happily making my way to cellgroup today at Bowen’s house, I realized my train concession ended, with my ezlink card of value -$0.79. It was a blow to me because I don’t receive allowance for school now as my income since it is holiday right now. Also, because of that I’ve already planned my way to church in a way I can afford to skip taking bus, walking a distance of 3 bus stops. Right now, I am facing a situation for transport, the most basic need I cannot even meet. I resent myself for everything. When I was on my way to Bowen’s house, I didn’t know what to do, how I am going to tackle this problem. I know I can ask people around me for cash and return them once I earned it back, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to. They are always blessing me, and I’m always receiving. I want to be a blessing to others too. But right now I cannot. My faith really dropped.

David sang, "I will bless the Lord at all times." All times--good times, bad times, great times and terrible times. Even on the worst day of your life, God is worthy of praise. David sang praises to God in the middle of burnt-out Ziklag.

Naresh emailed a story to everyone in the cellgroup. And this paragraph is what I know God is speaking to me right now. I should not worry about me meeting my own needs. As long as I know I am hungry for God and I want to go to church, serve in the ministry and listen to the word, God is going to provide for me. Amen. Even bad times like this, the more my faith shouldn’t go down, the more I should cling unto God, because He is my Jehovah Jireh, He will provide.

That’s all I want to post about my spiritual life right now. I find that this might be a season of EMAILING! Because Words through email really really impacted me a lot.

Lord, use the ordinary to do the extraordinary.