i cant believe im blogging about maple here. im currently level 121 44.78% & i dont feel like chionging the level. dont know why i step into maple again. maybe it's really because of erzi bah. but is that the main reason? today quarreled with jh erzi & i really cried. this is the 2nd time i cried infront of the com, because of maple, silly right? maple has a new trend, spamming to level, where you need to spend around 4mil per hour. they choose Bishop to do that, because of the skills genesis. sigh. so when people provide mmrs or mesos to spam, the bishop can earn free exp because they dont need to fork out anything else, maybe some time to concentrate on their spamming bah. why quarrel with erzi? i felt so sour inside. when nuer was still in maple, she can level so fast, that i cant possibly chase her levels. she is currently level 146 & i think erzi will reach level 131 by today. im not jealous about their levels. im just sad, they always say we can train together, im ice mage, how can we train together? why does erzi behave like nuer now. nuer used to flirt with countless guys, maybe that's how she got her levels. my training ground? it's not even a place people would want to step in. ask me to be more understanding, i can, but not when im training alone everyday, im alone, im lonely. maple is a game to kill boredom, why do i still feel lonely. maybe i yearn for their attention bah, i know that's not the way. i even wanted to save up some mesos to buy erzi's time for just one hour, because i know i cant afford one day. but he is too busy le. say we will train together once im back in maple, but our level difference now is big le, i know there's no chance le. leave maple? i can, but what about erzi's effort to help me chiong to 4th job? im so noob, i cant stand it anymore le. bishop really sucks, really really sucks.

if coming back to maple will deteriorate our relationship, i rather not be back. i dont want to train alone, i dont want to be alone...

i left SanShu, although i know i really cherish some guild members inside, but they are just among themselves, im always just alone. i talk, they wont answer. no point staying.

im just ranting, if you guys would understand what im saying.

Lord, prepare my heart for work tomorrow.