im down. low self esteem is reacting again. i hate myself. whatever i do dont seem to be enough. bloggie, other than my Lord, you're the one that i will confide in. you remain silent, its okayys, i shall do the talking.

FOM tutor gave us back our presentation result today. no doubt that we scored the highest among our classmates, but i actually scored the lowest among my groupmates. i dont think i put in lesser effort compare to anyone else. but perhaps my parts is really so little, i didnt have anything to explain to the whole class at all. jerry said he noticed it too, & he says this time he gonna make me speak more. FOM PBL2 is up, it's more teadous & we're actually given only 2 weeks. i need to rush, i need to be on fire, but how am i suppose to be motivated at this point of time? failure is not everything. Lord, set me on fire again.

i dread the stage. i dont look forward. thanks jazz for the opportunity. but after he told us today at briefing that this competition, the performers are all national top in their own fields, we're actually the only unknown newbie. my confidence level is greatly affected, being the ky as im. im glad that we took the first step to sing, to join competition. i thank God for the next opportunity. but i dont want to disgrace ourselves. it's next sunday, where is our standard. please lah!

hate myself hate myself hate myself

Lord, teach me to love.