firstly, sorry for not updating! i sent my lappy for repair at Jurong ACER building & it's not back yet. collecting most probably tomorrow i suppose! using my desktop to update now! it's so laggy~ ahhh! D:
went for EDGE night on friday! & it was really fun, more than the first night we attended last month! so it's your loss for not attending! hehe :D anyway, the sermon was once again impactful & i teared like nobody's business. it's about our low self-image, in other words, low self-esteem. i think everybody has it, it's a matter whether it's big or small. i know for myself, it's bigger than my size. so huge, buried deep within me. when pastor zhuang preached about it, images flashed across my mind, ranging from the oldest to the newest. need days & days before i can finish everything. i hate my low self esteem. even though i know clearly, so clearly that i possess so huge one, but i can do nothing about it. i always hid in my comfort zone, hoping that someone in my life can change for me. maybe a rich prince will appear, bring me to the salon, to the shop & i will be changed into another person overnight. but that's too much drama i've watched. in reality, only God can help me. but He cant appear, hold my hand & take me away, He can only guide me, tries after tries, showing me which are the ones that suits me & which are not. even though pastor zhuang preached about this few weeks back when i attended the talk with michelle & shan's CG, i know God is reminding me, asking me not to give up now. so much changes, but always bearing in mind that, i need inner changes more than outer changes. Yes Lord, i love you so much :D i teared so much i was too weak to stand, to breathe. i reached out my hand, crying to the Lord, yearning for his warmth hug that will console me. i know i will hang on in this earth to fulfil his purposes, i want to go to heaven & hug my heavenly daddy! :D DADDY WAIT FOR ME!
woots! above are the photos taken with my beloved spiritual friends after EDGE party! guys, if you are interested to experience more than what your life can now, join me for EDGE this december! see you! :D
i love the book : God is close than you think (if he is always with us, why is he so hard to find?) it's a book borrowed from Zac, but i procrastinated & stopped reading for weeks. now im back, because i love reading Christian books! Sherrie lend me one book by A.R Bernard too! cant wait to start! mikki passed me a book by Benny Hinn but i havent really go in dept. but i promised i will now! & consult you guys when i dont understand! :D
let me quote some paragraph from the book to share my thoughts, i love all these quotes so much! :D
We splurged in Italy, where we blew one whole day's allowance on a single meal and spent money we could not afford to look at the treasures of Western art. The highlight of the day came after standing in line for four hours at the Vatican to view Michelangelo Buonarroti's brilliant painting of God and Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. His masterpiece is one of the two works of art that serve as touchstones for this book. If you look carefully at the painting, you notice that the figure of God is extended toward the man with great vigor. He twists his body to move it as close to the man as possible. His head is turned toward the man, and his gaze is fixed on him. God's arm is stretched out, his index finger extended straight forward; every muscle is taut.
* * *
God's entire being is wrapped up in his impatient desire to close the gap between himself and this man. He cant wait. His hand comes within a hairbreadth of the man's hand.
* * *
God is as close as he can be. But having come that close, he allows just a little space, so that Adam can choose. He waits for Adam to make his move.
Adam is more difficult to interpret. His arm is partially extended toward God, but his body reclines in a lazy pose, leaning backward as if he has no interest at all in making a connection. Maybe he assumes that God, having come this far, will close the gap. Maybe he lacks the strength. All he would have to do is lift a finger.
this paragraph above touched me so much. i agree, when a man comes forward, God takes a million step closer. this is exactly how it was in the painting. i agree that we always procrastinate, but God is a God that is the same yesterday, today & tomorrow, He will wait for us patiently.
i was attracted to this book because upon reading the pages, there's only one morale that is behind, one truth that the author wish to disclose, and that is God is like a Waldo. maybe most of us here played the game when we were young, basically it's just flipping the waldo book trying to indicate where's the waldo in every page. the waldo varies in size, & if you didn't manage to find him on the current page, you could not continue. sometimes he hid himself, therefore you cant find him. but what makes you continue searching for him? because the book tells you that there's definitely a waldo in every page.
this, too, applies to God. He is always with us, perhaps sometimes we just didn't put in so much an effort to seek Him & to find Him, and often ask, why is He not here? have you tried harder? i tell you that God is always with us, because the Scripture tells us so, therefore, do not stop seeking for Him, for He will appear when you continue finding, just like waldo will eventually appear if you did not give up.
today i went for prayer meeting at sherrie's house. perhaps it was too last min a notice after mikki said that EDGE night is considered already our CG this week, only 5 of us were present, mikki, bowen, sherrie, jane & myself. but i still think that people are there to pray genuinely. initially, i couldn't break the barrier, my heart was not prepared. but i know as i do not cease speaking in tongues and focus on Him, God will appear. true enough, He did. i just hope that our Cg will do well & grow as well. not just in size, but also spiritually.
sam, xin & ting couldn't make it for the shot to fame final practice today. we didn't get it, none of us, but we will be singing on stage as a group of contestants. thursday will be the final rehearsal, let's all try to make it alright!
was initially pissed when all couldnt make it, cant possibly expect me to go down alone. thus went to find rolling laogong, ah moi & nana at nana's house. her mum wipped up dishes for our lunch & dinner, so thankful & paiseh also lor! eating non stop. having ulcer le still munched tidbits just now D: but the horror movie they watched make me fell asleep -.-
Lord, thanks for everything today. bless tomorrow! :D