Mikki's word still set my mind thinking, do not put emotions into the things you do. im still learning, how to let go of things i shouldn't hold on. i know i can do it. nothing can please me, it was not born to be. putting emotions into things i do meant that my feelings will be affected by the things around me, shouldn't be that way, right?
my job as a telemarketer left me breathless. i thought im going to gain more than just a job experience, but it was too harsh on for me. no one set the expectations, it was always me for myself. my consultant always end with a "thanks" for me but yet i always return a "sorry" to her. i ain't a superwoman myself, how could i ever expect things too difficult for me. i kept blaming onto myself, in which i should have thought of ways to turn things around. i always say my consultant is my motivator to work, to aim & to get appointments for her. where has it gone to then? did i lost it along the way? i dont know. dont ask me. i cant even manage little things. my parents and my consultant. about the pay i was suppose to received on the 10th, i thought i could manage both side, it turned out only making me more stressful. i didn't know who to turn to, i look too highly uopn myself perhaps. things ended badly. it also ended with me apologising once again. i can always apologise & nothing else. i feel like leaving. on the other hand, i can bear to leave my consultant alone. what is truly my feelings? my decision? im still pondering.
NTUC rawkers, i wonder where do i still belong. i miss them too much, but will they know? MCG? it will never be. i just wish them happiness always that will also cheer my heart up. how's everybody? i still love them, yes i do.
i saw shaun's friendster pictures. i missed the old days with fournine. yes i miss them alot too. i will cherish the next outing i promise (: wont just walk away like that de.
i like this:
blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed;
because it truly expressed my feelings. towards anybody now, i have no expectations. i just wanna do my best. because i believe so. but i dont wanna have any disappointment. im just protecting myself. however, it was so wrong.i was surprised when layhwa said this:
blessed is the man who seek opportunity from God, for he shall gain experience despite disappointment.
i understand le. thanks layhwa. God wont take obstacles away from our lives, so stop praying and asking Him to do so. however, He will walk with us & shelter us, see us fall & rise again during the period of time. i love this way, because i can learn.anyway, i wanna make an announcement too! since xin already made this announcement in her blog. we've formed a team;
Jermaine, Angeline & Samantha. no longer called JAS but now PassioNaliseD. yupps. a new word oh. we've joined a shot to fame! bless all :D
Lord, buck me up! heal Mikki! jiayou! amen :D