{ continued

finally back from a thorough revision for econs tomorrow;
i just hope i can do well;
i have faith in him who will guide me every seconds & minute;
i love you so much my lord;

chapter eleven of i kissed dating goodbye already;
what have you learn you'd asked;
alot i shall reply;
came across this & i feel like posting it up;
whenever i read a chapter, i feel like posting the chapter up;
but due to copyright issue i couldn't;
i just want to show now, how much this book had impacted me;
so some quotes & a lil discussion from me too;

i was reading the sub topics of chapter eleven - infatuation;
definition of infatuation is A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction;

" in addition to diverting our attention from God, infatuation can cause problem for us because it is most often founded on illusion. when infatuation with someone, we tend to build up that person in our imaginations as the perfect guy or girl. we think we'd be happy forever if that person would return our affections. of course, we can only sustain our silly crush because we've substitute fantasy for all the information we lack about the person. as soon as we get to know that person's true identity and discover that our 'perfect' man or woman is human like everyone else, our dreams fade and we move on to a new crush "

perhaps that paragraph really infers what i was really feeling;
it is referring to new born couples;
but i still got that feeling although darren & i weren't new;
but instead of infatuation, we often communicate this as expectation;
if we can accept who we are when we accept each other;
why would we still have the 'perfect' image of each other in our hearts;
expecting each other to do things the way you expected;
& when your expectations aren't met or fulfilled;
you feel sour, don't feel like talking to him or her;
therefore, when im too hurt from expectation;
i always tell him;
don't promise me anything, i won't expect anything, be yourself;

what is darren's perfect image in my heart?
i just want my guy to understand me more;
but if i don't understand myself, how can others?
it can ever be atrocious to say that darren understands me more than i do;
i want darren to be spiritually stronger than me a thousand times;
because i want him as the 'man' in our relationship;
(quoted from shenny's blog because it hits me too)
& i want to rely on him;
so perhaps separation is the best way;
no distractions;

im so looking forward to receive my next pay;
guys, enough saying how stupid im not to receive the bonus just 2 months later;
it is alright;
even my daddy scold me silly for letting it go;
but how much more could i have hold on?
god can provide much more for me;
he will never let me be hungry;
although i only have 5 bucks in my wallet right now for me to spent until the next pay;
which may be probably on 4th july;
i never felt that i need to eat as much;
because i as never hungry;
when i needed food, it was there;
& praise the Lord for that;

jie received the lollipop from me;
i hope she's feeling better;
because there's the only way xiaomei can comfort her;
working is like that de;
just i gave up earlier than you;
you have one more reason to hold on - vincent kor;
jiayou dajiejie!

Lord, thank you for keeping me alive;
let the precious knowledge of econs be in my head for this night;
im gonna spit it out tomorrow;
bless me with a wonderful tomorrow;
you rawks!
i stone;

with love;
yimyim