& i finally put up another post;
im perhaps closing my blog soon;
but i still wanna post like usual;

i hope things improved;
cos i took a step of faith;

things perhaps went a lil worse today;
went to pearle's house to practice some dance steps;
perhaps not enough confidence to dance infront of people;
i din really move much;
seeing them being so enthu;
motivates me to go harder;
& at the same time pulling my morale down;
looking at how myself dance in the mirror;
couldn't take the fact;
cos i dunnoe how to dance;
everything being thrown to me;
i dun wan to figure out myself;

but why the hell is ky so pessimistic?
come on! everyone's working hard!
no backing out last minute;
you're gonna get into audition;
& you're going to do your best;
even if you dun get in eventually;
you did your best;
you know where you stand;
as for now;
you have one week plus more for practices;
if FAT people like you can move;
why cant you?
stop thinking that FATS are stopping you from excelling;
just do your best & God will do the rest;
you know your favourite verse well;

went home & shut the door;
turned on techno;
i danced like mad;
i sweat like mad;
off to jog downstairs;
i cursed myself like mad;
its tough to get my muscles working;
when i havent been doing this for at least a year and a half;
i didn't care;
im having severe muscle cramp now;
& yet im still acting strong;
thanks ting for accompanying me;
LOVES!

pearle and purple decided to back out the camp;
they thought it was meaningless;
& because im not firm with myself yet;
i wanna back out too;
but what about rachel?
she's not reachable at this moment;
2 roads to choose right now;
since i've taken leave for weekends;
it means im able to make it for SCV & CG this week;
if i dont go for camp;
mikki's teaching me some basic moves;
& i know i will do my best;
i wan that determination;
pearle & purple decided to do freestyle together this weekend;
& im not included;
i know the awkward barrier is still there;
i've tried my best;
perhaps not being there will reduce something bahs;
i really need confidence & motivation right now;

I DUN WANNA FREAKING CARE HOW FUGLY I CAN REALLY GO;
I WANNA ADD FUEL TO FIRE ON STAGE;
KY YOU CAN DO IT;
HAVE CONFIDENCE;

im not going for the camp;
last decision im making;
my apologies to rachel;

Lord, thanks for keeping me alive;
open my mind and heart truly;
for dance is now something which i wanna do;
Lord, you gonna bless me;
i know you will;
no matter how;
U RAWKS!
i stone;

signing off;
yimyim